Navigating conflict - the Jesus way 

Today, Ordinand Chris Scoble's sermon contemplates today's Gospel reading from Matthew 18: 15 – 20. This is followed by today's prayers of intercession given by Louis Myers and which reflect today's sermon. 

 
There are very few of us who want to talk about conflict. Even if you don’t identify as being conflict averse, I suspect that you don’t particularly like conflict. Conflict touches us when we’re most vulnerable. Conflict can feel like a threat to our sense of peace, community and even perhaps our sense of self. How did you feel yesterday waking up in Dover to 200 masked protestors dressed completely in black blocking the port causing the town to become gridlocked? Threatened? Angry? Sad?  I don’t know about you, but I dream, I pray for a world without conflict. We have a long way to go – and it will happen in God’s time, not mine.
 
So, how do we navigate conflict faithfully? Incredibly, Jesus provides us with a route map that provides very clear instructions on how to navigate conflict. Yet, how often do we follow those instructions. It’s a bit like when we get a new bit of kit that we want to use, the instructions provided are only used in extremis, as a last resort  – when everything else has failed, because I / you know best. Perhaps if we followed Jesus’ method of conflict resolution, matters would be easier, yet we must remember that conflict resolution requires courage and resolve. It is not a painless process. Conflict resolution is not the easy choice as we need to be open, honest, and true.
 
Jesus’ method requires skills that are uncomfortable to use. We are asked to talk to the person one-to-one. Jesus tells us to be persistent in seeking reconciliation and to be transparent, first with a trusted few and then with the whole church if necessary. If none of these steps leads to reconciliation, Jesus asks us to treat them like outsiders – which means to treat them with kindness and love. This I have great difficulty with even in abstract terms much less than in real life, in real conflict where I’ve been hurt or perhaps hurt someone else. Only in true forgiveness is there reconciliation. When we pray for forgiveness, we are reconciled with God. In a situation when we are required to forgive, we too must be reconciled. Sometimes, reconciliation is impossible for a variety of reasons. When this has happened to me, I pray. I pray for the other person or people. I pray for peace and the opportunity to move forward in that peace.
 
How do we practice these skills in worship?  I don’t mean that the Sunday Service becomes a forum to air grievances – that would go against Jesus instruction. Rather, find ways to practice recognising your neighbours at home, in church at work as image bearers of God. Hold space for the Church Family to pray for people with whom they’re having difficulty, experiencing conflict or friction. When experiencing conflict take time to pause, reflect, pray... Pause. I was once given a piece of advice by a wise member of this Church Family. Do not send an email in anger. Write it and don’t send it until the following day. If it still holds true, then send it. The pause offers the opportunity to reflect about the conflict from the perspective of the other person or people and to see our part in it. Pray about the situation and seek God’s direction. It may well be that you, I need to pause, reflect and pray more than once. To take the opportunity of listening to that still, small voice of calm. This is not an invitation to excuse harm, but rather the opportunity to gain grace and compassion for the imperfections and differing worldviews of our neighbours.
 
Only then, like the Israelites, on the night of the First Passover, can we remember that as a congregation, as a Church Family, we can withstand the conflicts in our world. The ones we can reconcile and the ones we can’t – because God is with us. When we feel the most threatened and the most under attack, God does not call us to further conflict. God calls us to come together and remember, to lean not on ourselves or our friends, but to find refuge in our God. The God who calls us, protects us and guides us.
 
Amen

Prayers of intercession:

Gracious God, you have placed your Church within the whole fabric of creation, calling us to live as people who recognise Christ’s presence in all things. As we hear the words of the Gospel today — that Christ is among us whenever we gather in his name — help us to be a community where reconciliation is practised, where listening is honoured, and where truth is spoken with gentleness and courage.

We pray for your Church throughout the world, and for all who guide and shepherd your people. We hold before you Archbishop Sarah, Bishop Rose, Reverend Seb, Reverend Trish, Reverend Melissa, Reverend Claire, and Ordinand Chris. Strengthen them in their ministries; deepen their wisdom; and renew their joy, that they may help us walk faithfully with Christ, who is both Lord of the Church and Lord of Creation.

Make your Church a place where care for the earth is woven naturally into our worship, our discipleship, and our daily choices — not as an optional concern, but as part of the life of Christ who reconciles all things to himself.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer

God of all creation, during this Creationtide, we recognise that, in Christ you hold all things together — the smallest creature, the vastness of the oceans, the turning of the seasons, and the fragile hopes of humanity. Open our eyes to see your presence in the world around us: in the beauty we enjoy, in the resources we depend upon, and in the responsibilities we share.

We pray for places where creation groans under the weight of conflict, injustice, or environmental strain. We hold before you the continuing suffering in the Middle East, Ukraine, Sudan, and all regions where violence overshadows daily life. Strengthen those who work for peace; protect the vulnerable; and soften hearts hardened by conflict.

We pray for communities facing the effects of climate change - for those dealing with the ongoing rescue work in Nepal - for countries with fragile health systems, and for all whose daily lives are shaped by poverty, instability, or fear. Grant wisdom to leaders, steadfastness to medical workers, and hope to all who feel overwhelmed or afraid.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer

Lord God, Christ is present whenever even two or three gather in his name. As we step into the days ahead, tune our hearts to his quiet guidance. Help us to notice your presence in creation — in the beauty that restores us, in the resources we depend upon, and in the responsibilities you entrust to us. Teach us to walk gently upon the earth, to delight in its goodness, and to honour Christ who holds all things together and in whom creation finds its true purpose.

Shape our thoughts, our words, and our actions so that they reflect your grace in the ordinary rhythms of the week. Go before us and remain with us, now and always.

Rejoicing in the fellowship of all your saints, we commend ourselves and all Christian people to your unfailing love.

Merciful Father, accept these prayers for the sake of your Son, our Saviour Jesus Christ.

Amen